WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
