I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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