I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
