So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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