I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I didn't notice because vodka
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
