Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
