This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
