I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Shame - the story of my life.
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