I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
