69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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