You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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