Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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