i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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