Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
