Is it normal to miss your booty call?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
