He disabled his match.com account in front of me
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
