Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
