i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
