You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
