it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
