Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
