is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
