During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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