This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
then he tried to convert me to islam
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
