You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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