Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
