I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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