I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
