You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I have fence marks all over my body
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
