there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
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