Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
babies were throwing up all over the place
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
