You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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