There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize