Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
