Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
