just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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