white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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