shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
PANTIES FOUND
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
