Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
