If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
