I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
