I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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