Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
