You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
