i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
