You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
