I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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