I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
