Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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