She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
