Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
